Blog posts past: Why I no longer play netball with boys

Friday the 13th? The one you’ve got to watch out for is Thursday the 12th, as I discovered for myself last week.

I’d been persuaded to play in a charity netball match, with the assurance that there would be loads of people (male and female) playing, so I’d probably only be on the court for 15 minutes, tops. I turned up to find out that in fact there were exactly 14 players, and with seven per team, that meant I’d be playing the whole match.


After 45 minutes, I’d come to the conclusion that having me as goal defence was marginally more effective for my team than being a player short. Just about. If I learnt to stop shrieking every time the ball came anywhere near me, I might have even made contact with it a couple of times. At least in netball it’s pretty near impossible to score an own goal.

The match was surprisingly competitive, and extremely physical. This came as a shock to me, as I’d last played netball as a 16-year-old at St Gabriel's (I found it quite depressing to work out that how many years ago that was). I’m not sure I ever actually played a full match at school; my natural position was as a reserve. And certainly I never played on teams that included men. Not at St Gabs. We were nice girls.

Not that I noticed the male players that much, since I was too busy hiding behind the goalpost, until one (a rugby player, I have since learnt) decided that I was clearly a threat to him reaching the ball (I was probably trying to run out of the way of it at the time) and flew into me. I presume that was what happened, anyway, as the next 30 seconds or so are a bit hazy. All I know is that my head collided with the Tarmac. Ouch.


The result was a lump the size of a grapefruit, and lots of concerned players gathered round. It turned out that I was the only person on court with any First Aid training, so after telling them that trying to put me into the recovery position wasn’t the right way to deal with a head injury, I realised that my faculties were at least still working on some level, which was a relief.

Now, if you have an accident, it’s always best to have it just round the corner from a hospital, so I was packed off from Reading University Sportspark to A&E at the Royal Berks. The rest of the evening was spent having my head prodded, my pupils checked, and being asked questions like my name, the Queen’s name, the year, and the dates of the Second World War (I guess they get a lot of old people in casualty).


My favourite one was: “Who do you think I am?”, asked by the nice doctor, as he pointed at his stethoscope. I really wanted to say “a nurse”, as I know how much that irritates doctors (Bill has only just stopped asking a female doctor friend of mine “how’s the nursing going?” after 10 years of knowing her), but as I really didn’t want to be kept in overnight, I gave the correct answer.

After several hours of observation I was allowed to go home as long as I had a responsible person there to look after me. If not, Bill being there would do. I was given a wonderful leaflet that explained I may have suffered “bruising to the brain” which could cause symptoms for a few days or weeks. These include tiredness, feeling miserable, trouble with memory, difficulty concentrating and loosing my temper easily. Nothing new there then, says Bill.


I should also “avoid getting involved in stressful situations and should not make any major decisions” until I’m better. Which explains why I found it so difficult to decide which Easter Egg to eat next. The only answer was to eat two. At once. Well, the leaflet also says I should “allow myself to rest”. And for me, resting always involves eating chocolate.

In lieu of a bandage wrapped around my head a la Basil Fawlty, there is no sign of my trauma, so I’m milking the accompanying elbow graze for maximum sympathy with a lovely big dressing and a slight groan whenever I need to lift something heavier than a Creme Egg. And I have made one major decision -  I am never ever going to play netball again. I’ve always said that sport is bad for you.

• First published on www.newburytoday.co.uk, 2007

Blog posts past: Popmaster and pillow talk with Ian Anderson

I’ve been a bit poorly this week so have mainly been stuck at home, gleaning most of my entertainment from hubby Bill’s ongoing obsession with the BBC Radio 2  daily quiz Popmaster.

Bill was a competitor the other week - he didn’t even know he was definitely on it until DJ Ken Bruce said: “...and next, Bill from Newbury,” and then he got a call from a producer, saying: “You’ll be live on the radio as soon as this track ends.” A Lindsey Buckingham song has never sounded as long, he told me afterwards. Quite clearly he has never listened to Tusk in its entirety.

Anyway, Bill trounced the competition, winning himself a ‘Space’ radio (so-called, I assume, because it looks like one of those rocket ice lollies). But having got one question wrong, the dreaded ‘3 in 10’ round stood between him and a guaranteed place in the coveted Champions League finals at the end of the year.

“In 10 seconds, name three hits by... Pink,” pronounced Ken. Bill got two. Come on, could you have done better? Really?

So, ever since, Bill has been coming home of an evening to test me on that day’s ‘3 in 10’ (and it turns out that not many contestants can manage it). 10CC? Morrissey? No, you can’t count Smiths songs. The Three Degrees?

I think that a few Radio Two listeners would have been a bit jealous of my week’s highlight. Being really quite poorly that day, I was asleep at 2pm when my mobile rang. I didn’t pick up in time, but checking my voicemail, I discovered that Ian Anderson out of Jethro Tull wanted me to ring him. And who could blame him?

I had totally forgotten I was meant to be interviewing the Tull frontman for NWN2. I could blame this on being ill, but to be honest it’s not the first time. I once had to do a telephone interview with a slightly annoyed Gina Yashere while she was waiting in line at airport check-in to go on holiday, because I had failed to ring her the previous day. Irritated comedians do not make the easiest of interviewees.

So there I am sitting in bed, chatting to Ian Anderson, with a slight temperature and sounding like Bonnie Tyler because of my laryngitis. Soon as I ring off, I go straight back to sleep.


As a result, the next day sat at the computer to write up my interview, I’m staring at shorthand notes that appear to translate as: “terrified by big breasts”, “Auntie Het used to clasp me to her ample bosom”, and “Pamela Anderson”.


Now, while I don’t doubt for a second that these are direct quotes from the mouth of the Jethro Tull frontman (although my shorthand is truly awful), my memory of our conversation is a little hazy, and what I can’t figure is: what on earth was I asking him to elicit these responses?

Best answer wins a Popmaster ‘Space’ radio. (No, not really, Bill).

• First published on Newbury Today (www.newburytoday.co.uk) in 2007

Lovely man - review of Jimeoin

Jimeoin at The Corn Exchange, Newbury, on Friday, May 4, 2012

LOVELY by name (well, the name of his current tour, anyway) and lovely by nature, Jimeoin is such a sweetheart that he even makes the job of reviewing easier by including bits in his show especially for the reviewer. Suits me, as I’m a bit lazy. So:  “Jimeoin used the whole of the stage” (said by Jimeoin as he, well, used the whole of the stage). Oh, and “he also had a dark side” - that involved him hovering around the back of the stage, near the gloomy red-lit backdrop. See, he sorted me out with a paragraph straight off. Nice one.

Jimeoin (yes, it is his real name, surname McKeown) is probably better known in Australia than the UK - having moved Down Under from Northern Ireland aged 22, he doesn’t pop up that  often on the usual British panel shows. However, his occasional stand-up appearances on UK TV help the public warm to him and his his tours and Edinburgh runs sell well (The Corn Exchange possibly being the exception - “don’t look at the people on the balcony,” he warned the audience, “they’re really shy. They’re also doing that silent laughter thing.”)

But no matter that the place wasn’t full, Jimeoin was still happy to share his laid-back attitude to life in general and comedy in particular. He flitted good-naturedly from one thought to another in the manner of the 1990s rave casualty he physically resembles. Sweet and likeable, you get the feeling that his show isn’t terribly tightly scripted, as he often goes off on interesting tangents but then needs prompting to pick up where he left off. He has a guitar on stage, but even his approach to live music is lackadaisical, with only one actual song being played on it all night, with another being performed on his iPad, which he pointed out, “would save lugging that thing [the guitar] around everywhere”.

But things aren’t as shambolic as they may appear, and Jimeoin’s slight vagueness is all part of the act. “I’m a lazy mime”, he comments, demonstrating how another, more efficient mime artist might tidy up after him, closing doors and windows he left open. And he’s happy to let his audience “drift in and out” of  his narrative. “You won’t find everything funny - but you’ve got your teeth out,” demonstrating the anticipation of laughter. It was gentle, unconfrontational comedy, whimsically drifting over a variety of everyday subjects, but presented ever so well. A reminder that sometimes, comedy is allowed to be just... well, lovely.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, May 10, 2012

Edutainment at its most entercational - review of The Amazing Bubble Show (Louis Pearl) and Science Museum Live on Tour

Science Museum Live on Tour and The Amazing Bubble Show, at The Corn Exchange, Newbury on Friday, April 27 and Saturday, April 28

THE Bubble Man really loves bubbles, and he wants you to love bubbles too. He wants you to love the way they float, the way they burst, the way they follow you when you walk (really), and the way they can be trained to create squares, UFOs and bubbles-within-bubbles. He likes putting bubbles on people’s heads, and putting people in bubbles, then getting them to blow from the inside to create more bubbles without popping their giant bubble house. 

The Bubble Man, being laid back and dry-witted San Franciscan Louis Pearl even managed a first at The Corn Exchange, it being the building with the highest ceiling in which he has managed to get a helium-filled bubble to float all the way up. “Cheer wildly if I manage it,” he told the audience, “but don’t go ‘aw’ if it doesn’t. I’d rather have silence than the sound of disappointment.” There was much cheering and applause throughout, as small people and their grown-ups were amazed, wowed and delighted by the beauty of the bubbles, and learnt a bit along the way about the science behind the frothy stuff.

Laying on the science a lot thicker on Friday and creating somewhat louder pops than the bubbles were “Mark” and “Mandy” demonstrating the principles of various types of energy, from potential to kinetic and light to nuclear. The theme was a perfect excuse for plenty of bangs and flashes as the presenters carried out a variety of experiments to demonstrate how energy can be produced and harnessed, as well as donning wigs and padding to recreate an imaginary slugfest between the two fathers of gravity, Isaac Newton and Robert Hooke (I was rooting for Hooke).

The on-stage fun was interspersed (while the stage was tidied up) with on-screen mini-tours of the Science Museum, which felt a little bit like “a word from our sponsor” - but as it is free to visit, there seemed to be no harm in sparking the enthusiasm of the audience to plan a future trip there. My only niggle was why the producer couldn’t find an actor with suitable facial hair to play Prince Albert. But then, prior to the show, I didn’t know that Prince Albert founded the Science Museum - did you? A slight tonsorial slip-up maybe, but overall, it was edutainment at its most entercational.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, May 3, 2012

The show must go on - review of The Ilsleys

The Ilsleys and Rick Green at ACE Space, Newbury on Friday, April 20

THEIR name may make them sound like a local band for local people, but The Ilsleys’ collective experience tots up to around 200 years or thereabouts in the music business, so a little thing like an injured drummer wasn’t going to put them off their stride (pretty hard to do: they were all sat down anyway - thinking of their hips), and their first headline show at ACE Space went ahead as planned on Friday, proving what utter pros they are. 

Not to say that drummer Nigel Reveler wasn’t missed (rule one of music reviewing: never annoy the drummer),  but the remaining four members (I was going to say “surviving members”,  but on second thoughts...) put on such a cracking performance that it was easy to forget that they weren’t planning on an acoustic set all along. I’m a sucker for vocal harmonies, and the richness of the band’s three-, and occasionally four-part harmonies soared throughout. Someone mentioned to me that their sound was reminiscent of Crosby, Stills & Nash - a pretty accurate comparison, as the set included a couple of hits written by Ilsleys nominal frontman Colin Jennings for The Hollies in the ’70s - albeit after Graham Nash had left the band.

The band performed two sets, crammed with an impressive 22 mainly new songs (the band might have a hard job picking out the ones to include on their forthcoming album Licks, Lilts & Lullabies) reflecting many lifetimes of musical and worldly-wise experience. “This one’s another love song,” pronounced Jennings, eliciting a comment from the audience: “Aw, love songs at their age.” Fair enough, the band were rocking the grey haired look,  but turning their hand from pure romance (Send Me The Pillow) to classic pop (their version of the Jennings-penned Hollies hit Magic Woman Touch), hippy vibes (Back To Nature) and a hint of psychedelia (I Will Love Her), The Ilsleys proved that years of experience, great on-stage banter, and top-notch professionalism create a magical musical brew.

In support was Rick Green, stepping out from behind the sound desk for an extended solo spot to showcase his new self-titled full-band album, available from Green himself at Sticks & Strings in Thatcham. His songs and shirt were tinged with Americana, and his set included a useful education in learning to love the C-word (which is, of course... Country).

What a great night. Let’s do it again soon, boys - next time, you can even bring your drummer (you might have to squish up your chairs to fit him onto the stage, though).

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, April 26, 2012

Stanhope of the States - review of Doug Stanhope

Doug Stanhope at The Anvil, Basingstoke on Friday, April 13

US COMEDIAN Doug Stanhope is an enigma. Lucid, erudite and socially aware one minute; shambling, verging on incoherent and downright dirty the next. I know which version of Stanhope I prefer, but then I’m a delicate flower. Likewise, the audience divided pretty much into diehard fans and “try it  outs”, a fair few of whom didn’t make it to the end. This, along with a smallish crowd (for The Anvil) of about 300, seemed to be pretty much accepted as all in a day’s work for Stanhope, who carried on regardless in his indomitable manner.

From an excellently-argued monologue about why the USA is a really great place to live despite its questionable governance, social organisation and legal system, to a dissection of his Twitter spat with Daily Telegraph journalist Allison Pearson which revealed a kind heart hiding somewhere within a maelstrom of vitriol and bile, Stanhope at his best was on the button with something really interesting to say, and the wit to present it well.

However, at other points, his act delved to the darkest depths of depravity, including an extended Aristocrats-style “joke” which I suspect is becoming daily more disgusting as the 30-date tour runs its course. Not my cup of tea at all, but the uproarious laughter from much of the audience belied my personal sensibilities.

I went to this gig knowing it was quite likely not to be all to my delicate tastes, and I’m not going to take umbrage with the bits that made me uncomfortable. In the end, no one got hurt, and unlike so many less intentionally offensive comedians, I can’t recall anything faintly misogynistic or endorsing of domestic abuse, which as I’m sure any regular readers of my reviews will have noticed, is my personal comedy bugbear.

Personally, I found the support act, comedian/guitarist Henry Phillips, to be more palatable to my fairly gentle tastes. Another American with a potty mouth, Phillips kept on the right side of mucky with songs which also showcased a true musical talent, including one written on the road  by himself, Stanhope, Stanhope’s partner Bingo (who received a cheer whenever she appeared to ply her man with more alcohol) and other crew members about the various hardships of touring in the UK. To be fair to Stanhope, there were a few obvious absences from the audience before he followed Phillips onto the stage, which was probably the right decision - if those people were shocked by Phillips, Stanhope might have made them pop.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, April 19, 2012

Star Turn - interview with The Ilsleys

TAKE members of legendary Newbury outfits Ricky and The Gamblers and Tonton Macoute, mix it up with up to 50 years experience in the music industry per member, and reveal the dark secret that they to blame for the 1980s novelty hit Pump Up The Bitter, and you’ve got The Ilsleys - a bunch of West Berkshire 60-somethings recording an album and getting ready for their first full gig at ACE Space on April 20.

CATRIONA REEVES spoke to guitarist COLIN JENNINGS about starting a new musical journey when the band members have all got bus passes.

CATRIONA REEVES: It sounds like The Ilsleys' members have known each other for years - what made you decide to come together as a band at this point in your lives?

COLIN JENNINGS :We played in function bands together, and of course there was our excursion into comedy [as Star Turn on 45 (Pints), the act behind Pump Up The Bitter]. The idea of making an album of totally original material was the motivator, especially at our age. They always say the first album is the most important; it’s just that for us it took a little longer than usual!

Bassist Pete Fry and guitarist Dave Hicks were founder members of Newbury’s very own Ricky and The Gamblers in the swinging sixties. In their heyday, a number of record companies came down to Newbury to try and sign the band, but failed... Dave wasn’t fond of their manner, particularly The Rolling Stones’ producer Jimmy Miller, who thought that Dave should wear satin shorts on stage... it wasn’t a meeting of minds! Pete and Dave have both continued to play with various groups since then.

Drummer Nigel was in pop band Windmill before joining local band Tonton Macoute, who achieved cult status in the 70s throughout Europe. Their albums are so sought after that they are worth more than Nigel’s drumkit!

I started my career in the late 60s with The Greatest Show on Earth, a jazz rock outfit, and earned my crust for many years as a songwriter/performer working for, among many others, The Hollies and Cilla Black.

Last but not least, there’s Dave Stevens on keyboards - another local lad, who has made a major contribution in the arranging of the band’s music. Being a much younger member, he is also responsible for making sure that the rest of us are clean before we go on stage.

CR: What is your resulting musical style like - and who writes the songs?

CJ: The style is developing every time we play. The songs, the reception we get playing them live, and recording in the studio will all help. But it’s inevitable at out age that we’ll be drawing from the greats; which is fine, as long as it has our stamp on it.

I do most of the songwriting at the moment, only because I already had songs, old and new. But the two Daves have written for our live set at ACE Space, and I am sure that we all will have ideas going forward.

CR: You’ve got a provisional name for your album, Licks, Lilts & Lullabies. How is it coming along?

CJ: First recordings have started, and will be finished by midsummer. I was keen to get my old Abbey Road engineer/producer Tony Clark to produce the album. The only problem was, I couldn’t find him, until a chance conversation with someone at a studio who could put me in touch. It turned out that Tony had been following a different path altogether; he had taken a horticulture degree and was looking after a Victorian garden in London.

Luckily, when we met, he said that he was keen to get back into the studio. It’s great to be working with him - his pedigree is exceptional; he’s worked with Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder and Cliff Richard, among others. It will sound great.

CR: You’ve been testing out some of the songs at ACE Space’s Unplugged events. How have they gone down?

CJ: Really well, which is why we decided to do an evening of them. It’s a really nice place with good people and all sorts of talent, so it’s the perfect place for our first gig.

CR: What can people expect from the gig? Is it going to be all sex, drugs and rock & roll?

CJ: Hopefully - as long as it starts before eight and finishes at 11. Dave the guitarist likes to get the cups turned over by 11.30.

CR: And will you treat us to Pump Up The Bitter as an encore?

CJ: The gold lame suit and wig are in for a refit so probably not... but who knows!

• Below are The Ilsleys performing at ACE Space 

One Yank and they're off - interview with Doug Stanhope

 - 

DUBBED “the Voice of America” by Charlie Brooker, Doug Stanhope is a graduate of the US stand-up comedy school of hard living- outspoken, outrageous, rarely with alcohol out of his system, and often outside, having a smoke. He’s mostly rather polite in real life though, as Catriona Reeves discovered, when she rang him on his tour bus - but don’t tell. We wouldn’t want to blow his cover.

Catriona Reeves: You're currently about half way through a 38-date UK tour - how is it going?

Doug Stanhope: I’m doing well so far - only one or two major hangovers. Stoke-on-Trent was the worst one - I had some friends come to see me and stay over at the hotel. I don’t think we’ll be allowed back in that hotel.

CR: Wow, I had no idea there was so much fun to be had in Stoke.

DS: I’ve been to 15 different countries, and they all look like the inside of a bar. As long as there’s a bar, I’m happy anywhere.

CR: So are you receiving a warm welcome from UK audiences?

DS: British audiences are scary. In America, audiences are over the top and easily amused; over here they tend to be smarter and more controlled. You have to work a lot harder over here. Luckily, the Brits tend to be cynical and cranky like me, so we get on just fine.

CR: And what exactly should your cynical and cranky audiences expect from your show?

DS: I have no idea. It usually involves whatever’s been irritating me that day. I can always find something to irritate me. I switch it around every few days, but it’s always going to be the same angry, drunken, caustic, blow-hard nonsense that it’s been for the last 21 years.

There will certainly be something about Allison Pearson and the Twitter war we’ve been having [Allison Pearson is a Daily Telegraph columnist stood on the other side of political fence to Stanhope in regards to assisted suicide]. She is fully aware that I’m not going to drop it. It keeps me fired up.

CR: You certainly don’t shy away from tackling controversial issues. Do you think that you’ve got something important to say, or are you just having fun?

DS: Sometimes I’ve got something to say, but sometimes it’s just graphic smut. There’s always plenty of smut to laugh about; I don’t have to force myself too hard to find it.

CR: So, overall, you’re enjoying the tour...?

DS: I have no idea where we’re going, but usually when I come to the UK I’m stuck in Leicester Square, losing the will to live, so it’s great to see the country. We’ve been to some beautiful places - Bournemouth is stunning - but we’ve still got some s**t holes to visit, like Leeds and Liverpool.

CR: But Liverpool is the birthplace of the Beatles!

DS: I know. Henry Phillips who’s touring with me as my support, he’s a musical comedian, so he wants to do the Magical Mystery Tour, but I couldn’t give a monkeys. I wouldn’t say hello to Sir Paul if he was stood in my way when I’m going outside for a smoke.

Not that I’ve got anything against The Beatles, but I’m more interested in having a smoke.

Doug Stanhope can be found smoking outside the stage door at The Anvil, Basingstoke on Friday, April 13, and the Concert Hall, Reading on Wednesday, April 18. Paul McCartney is unlikely to attend.

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ince-sane in the brain - review of Robin Ince, Happiness Through Science

Robin Ince: Happiness Through Science, at Arlington Arts, Snelsmore, on Friday, March 23

DO you remember Robin Ince before he went all sciencey? Back then, he was best known as Ricky Gervais’ support act and whipping boy, and toured a rather delightful cabaret night called The Bad Book Club. I enjoyed it so much when he brought it to New Greenham Arts, that I sent him a copy of Danielle Steele’s Love Poems. Some people may consider that the act of a stalker, but Ince saw in it the wonder of poetry at its worst, and later performed readings from it accompanied by music and interpretative dance. Truly stunning.

Clearly having exhausted the deepest seam of terrible literature with that pinnacle of artistic achievement, Ince has more recently turned his sights outwards to the universe, and the comedy to be found in the wonderful world of science and its writings. As a layperson from an arts background, Ince has an enthusiasm about theories and discoveries for their intrinsic beauty, as well as the entertainment value that can be found by an outsider trying to grasp concepts as mind-messing as quantum theory, and the fabulous quirkiness of great thinkers such as Richard Feynman.

Ince showed how Schrodinger’s thought experiment (the cat-in-box paradox; not to be confused with Pavlov’s Dog) can be applied not only to the recession (“Here’s a box of oil for you... don’t open it!”) but also to nostalgia for TV programme from childhood (“if you buy a DVD of a show you loved, you must never ever watch it”). He also did a rather good impression of his co-presenter on BBC Radio 4’s Infinite Monkey Cage, Dr Brian Cox (“he’s good at pointing”) and hinted at a chink of humanity in outspoken atheist Richard Dawkins, who was rather put out by a certain item of his anatomy as depicted in a reworking of Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, with Dawkins painted into the part of Adam.

Central to Ince’s exploration was the question whether it is possible to be a scientific realist and/or atheist (as Ince himself is, despite coming from a family of vicars - some of his relatives were in the front row at Arlington) and still be happy. Can you find any joy in living if you believe that life - and the universe - is ultimately pointless? Ince believes that you can; with as much wonder to be found in the scientific world - and so much more to discover - as in religion, faith and mysticism. Maybe you can’t be happy all the time; but you can certainly find plenty of things along life’s path to both amaze and amuse.

* Robin Ince brings Happiness Through Science to Cornerstone in Didcot on Friday, June 29.

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 29, 2012

A Champion night - review of Ben Champion and Guests musical comedy night

Ben Champion and Guests musical comedy night at ACE Space, Newbury on Friday, March 9

I’VE always wanted to be a muse for a song, inspiring music of beauty and lyrics of joy. And on Friday, to my delight and great surprise it finally happened - the song being the moving and memorable punk-inspired future classic Ain’t Going Back To Basingstoke, by Newbury’s very own comedy singer-songwriter Ben Champion. Inspired by my dilemma about whether to see comedian Stewart Lee at The Anvil on Friday, or to come down and support something a little more home grown, he penned a ditty listing the myriad reasons that Basingstoke is not for the likes of us Newburians.

A packed ACE Space enjoyed an excellent night of musical hilarity organised by Champion, performing alongside three hand-picked acts: Natt Tapley, Ant Dewson and Horse & Louis (pictured above), who between them displayed how diverse musical comedy can be. From Champion’s own musicianship, showcasing a different style on each song, to Dewson’s laugh-a-line piano playing, Tapley’s reworking of Beatles classics (“Dear students... you’re going to have to pay...”) and Horse & Louis’ faux rock god stylings, the presentation was pleasantly varied, but never low on laughs.

Tapley kicked off the show, performing in character as “actual” London mayoral candidate Sir Ian Bowler, the self-styled Lesser of Three Evils. Reminiscent of Rik Mayall’s Alan B’Stard at his most oblivious to the little people, “Bowler”’s two musical interludes were rather an aside to his mainly stand-up routine, which worked very well considering he was performing at a “local gig for local people” (Champion’s description) who are probably mainly not that fussed about the mayoral election thingy going on up in the Smoke.

He may modestly describe himself as a “piano player (Grade 6) and singer of stupid songs”, but Dewson’s performance was pure, unadulterated hilarity. With naughty songs about his love for Carol Voderman and Richard Hammond, and a riposte to young people who believe that life ends at 30, he encouraged audience singalongs (very tuneful - well done, the ACE Space audience), and basically went down a storm.

Champion put himself third on the bill in addition to his compering duties, with some excellent songs which gave a little insight into his day job as a composer for children’s television, the perils of auto corrective texting, his thoughts on the Higgs Boson particle (“have you tried looking for it in the second drawer down?”) and his dreams of being an atheist priest and/or a ginger cowboy. Lovely stuff; another local talent we are very lucky to be able to call our own.

Horse & Louis (aka Nick Phillips and Louis Fences) took the night’s top slot, with a most entertaining set in the style of The Conchords and Tenacious D, the duo told stories about dating difficulties, call centre woes and the sexual posturing of musicians through the medium of rock opera. A frenetic and packed performance, the only disappointment was that their set was rather short, but it was an uplifting end to an excellent evening’s entertainment.

With a bar set this high, it should be hoped that such comedy nights become a regular diversification of ACE Space’s programming. I was certainly left wanting more.

(By the way, as it happened, I had to go to Basingstoke on Sunday morning, for a football match. Sometimes, there’s just no avoiding the place.)

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Firman Favourite - review of Pete Firman, Jiggery Pokery

Pete Firman at The Corn Exchange, Newbury on Friday, March 2

IT’S less than 18 months since magician Pete Firman last visited The Corn Exchange, and you don’t need special powers to tell that his star has risen in that time - possibly even in the last few weeks, during which he has been a regular Saturday night visitor to our teleboxes as one of The Magicians.

Back in October 2010, I described part of Firman’s charm being his “dishevelled appearance” and “intentionally under-polished performance”. Well, things have certainly changed since then. He’s smartened up (a bit), his props are much glossier (his box of tricks now has a velvet fringe), and he’s got his very own support act (self-proclaimed geek Chris Stokes; very good). Firman himself has moved on with his on-stage character, from a  mishap-prone geek who mixed cheesy jokes with snapshot lessons about the history of magic (I rather missed those), to a cod-ladies’ man with a twisted sense of humour.

However, while he may have gained some fame and fortune in recent months, his act isn’t all glitz and glamour; his way of selecting audience members to pick a card being to put the pack in a paint bucket dangled on a fishing rod - “maybe I should have removed the Homebase label”.

Quite a lot of Firman’s current Jiggery Pokery tour is cards and close-up based, and equipment he would benefit from would be a camera and big screen projector; much as the audience was blown away by the linked wedding rings trick, no one beyond the first few rows at The Corn Exchange could see for sure that they were the three actual rings taken from audience members. 

“You’ve missed the tigers,” quipped Firman to some latecomers a few minutes’ into the show, and he again poked fun at showy gaudity, with a finale that saw him ironically prancing Vegas-style to Wet Wet Wet’s Sweet Little Mystery. Firman may not be the most gasp-inducing of magicians, but he has sense of comedy that makes him very watchable. I said it before and I’ll say it again: Firman reminds me of fellow Middlesbrough progeny Paul Daniels (and not just because of their shared accent). He‘ll like that... not  lot, but he’ll like it.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 8, 2012

Champion the troubadour - interview with Ben Champion

ACE Space will be having them not only dancing but rolling in the aisles on Friday, March 9, when comedy singer-songwriter BEN CHAMPION brings along some other funny friends for an evening of musical comedy.

Having spent the last 10 years locked in a dimly-lit studio writing music and silly songs for cartoons and children’s television, last year Champion started writing comedy songs for grown-ups, and performing them at acoustic nights (including ACE Space’s monthly Unplugged events) and comedy clubs. CATRIONA REEVES found out more from the man himself.

Catriona Reeves: So Ben, are you from round these parts?

Ben Champion: I grew up in South London, went to Cambridge University, then spent my bohemian middle 20s playing in bands and living on a boat in Richmond. I eventually settled down and had children, and decided to leave London for the usual, slightly boring, reasons: house, garden etc. I now live in Newbury and have a studio in New Greenham Park.

CR: Tell us a bit about the composing that you've done in the past.

BC: I started out writing music for low budget films which led to some TV work, and in 2003 I was asked to write some bits for series five of Absolutely Fabulous.

By that time I was already involved with animators and looking at doing more children’s and cartoon work, having scored a Channel 4 Christmas special called Little Wolf’s Book of Badness.

I went on to write music for the 2007 remake of Pinky and Perky, as well as writing songs for CBeebies and several other children’s channels. My current shows are Alphablocks on CBeebies, Olive The Ostrich on Nick Jr., and The Hive on CITV and Disney Junior. I have the best job in the world, basically.

CR: What made you decide to move into the world of comedy and liv performance, and how has it been going?

BC: Well, two things happened: one was that I realised I was good at it. The other was that I got tired of being in my studio working on my own. I needed to get out more, essentially.

It’s been going really well. I’ve been playing my material locally at Unplugged and at other acoustic nights. I’ve entered a couple of new act competitions and got through to the quarter finals of one (Laughing Horse New Act of the Year). 

CR: Is this something you'd like to do more of in the future, or are you keeping your hand in with the composing as well?

BC: During the day I write silly songs for children, and in the evening I write and play silly songs for adults, so I don’t see the two things as mutually exclusive. I am treating the musical comedy as a parallel career and would love to be able to do more, with a view to taking a show to the Edinburgh Fringe either this year or next.

But I’m under no illusions as to how hard it is to earn a living in comedy, so I’m going to be doing both for a while I should think.

CR: What are your songs about? Which one goes down a storm?

BC: My songs are about all kinds of different things. Ideas jump out at me that have comic potential. For example, I was chatting to a journalist friend a while back who had just been to Holland to interview a minister in the church who was a self-confessed atheist. I thought maybe the Church of England might benefit from a similarly enlightened policy, so I wrote a song called Atheist Priest. 

I’ve also written a break-up song about the perils of the auto-correct function on my smartphone - and another about a sunburnt cowboy. 

I like my songs to have a strong central idea and a high proportion of actual jokes - if I can make it a half-decent song as well, that’s the icing on the cake.

CR: Do you have any musical comedy heroes?

BC: In the last ten years, I’d have to cite Flight of the Conchords, Mitch Benn and Tim Minchin of course.

Going back further I’d say Victoria Wood, Tom Lehrer, Jake Thackeray, and even Cole Porter and Noel Coward. I love clever, funny lyrics allied with great song-writing and musical ability. 

CR: What can people expect from the other acts you're bringing with you? Are they your personal selection?

BC: Yes, all three are acts that I’ve seen over the last year on the circuit, and bring different things to the evening. 

Natt Tapley plays an angry Tory MP character called Sir Ian Bowler and will do a couple of songs as well. Ant Dewson is a very funny song-writer who I met at a comedy night in December - he’s a bit ruder than me, but his songs are packed with jokes. Horse and Louis are a great double act who do songs and music-based sketches, and were finalists in the Musical Comedy Awards back in 2010. I first saw them in Edinburgh last August and think they will make a great headline act.

CR:. I am currently pencilled in to review Stewart Lee in Basingstoke the night you're playing ACE Space. Can you persuade me to come to see you instead?

BC: Hahaha good one. Well, you could spend a couple of hours listening to a cynic whispering his way through a studious analysis of what comedy is, while omitting anything that resembles an actual joke...

Or you could come to my gig for a couple of hours of real entertainment, and get the chance to be the first person to review my material. You never know, in a couple of years you may even be able to say you discovered me.

Plus, then you wont have to go to Basingstoke. 

CR: Anything else you would like to share with the good readers of the Newbury Weekly News?

BC: Can’t think of anything right now. Other than does anyone know a good plumber? My boiler’s been playing up.

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 1, 2012