A woman who wobbles but doesn't fall down - Interview with Francesca Martinez

STAND-UP comedian FRANCESCA MARTINEZ is witty, pithy and a little bit “wobbly” - and she’s on a mission to get people asking “What The *** Is Normal?!” She spoke to CATRIONA REEVES about how she uses comedy to get across a serious point - but why it’s still important to have a laugh.

Catriona Reeves: In creating your show, do you think you’ve come to a conclusion about what is “normal”?

Francesca Martinez: The show is pretty personal; being born “wobbly” [Martinez has mild cerebral palsy] I’ve always had a really intense relationship with “normal”. It particularly haunted me during my teenage years, when I desperately wanted to fit in. 

Eventually, I realised that I’ve never met a “normal” person in my life - where are they?  That realisation changed my life. We are all different, and different is normal. I’m interested in challenging the labels we stick on each other. 

There’s so much pressure on people to fit  in; the media encourages paranoia so we go out and buy stuff  we don’t need. If we were happy and fulfilled, we’d realise that a handbag won’t change our lives. Everyone kind of knows that it’s all rubbish, but it’s hard to resist unless you fully question society’s values. My show is an antidote to that way of thinking.

The best thing in my life is my family. They always told me to think for myself, never considered me disabled, and were never disappointed or in mourning for the “normal child” I “could” have been. But despite that, I began to adapt society’s view of me. Eventually, I realised that I had to make my own mind up. I realised that that I’m not wrong, I’m not disabled - I’m just me.

The nature of standup encouraged me to think differently, because strangers are paying to listen to me - I still can’t get over that; it’s a privilege in a way. I want to leave them with something beyond laughter. That’s why I love comedy - you can say really important things that challenge people and allow them to leave with a more open mind.

CR: If you had the choice, would you rather not be “wobbly”?

FM: That’s an impossible question to answer. It’s more than just a physical thing; it’s like asking if I would want to be someone else. Everything in our lives affects us, and a huge part of my personality has been shaped by being wobbly. So, no - I like who I am and what being wobbly has given me. I’m also very happy not to have to do the housework.

I think that developing a degenerative condition or becoming suddenly disabled is more challenging than my wobbliness, because for me it’s predictable and I’ve never not had it. I find people with those other conditions incredible because they so often retain such positivity. Disability brings out the choice in you to appreciate life and get as much out of it as possible, or to lie in a heap on the floor. I certainly had that point in my life where I made that choice, but I can only talk about my own experience.

CR: You’ve made some strong points in the media since the Paralympics about the Government’s approach towards disability. Are you still incensed about the issue?

FM: All this positive talk is a bunch of lies, when at the same time they are dismantling benefits and condemning a lot of disabled people to a life which is harder and scarier. We need to stand up against it, as it’s an issue that could potentially affect everyone - anyone could be hit by a bus tomorrow.

Disabled people can lead useful and productive lives, but they often need help or support to get there. I want to see my taxes funding the NHS and benefits, things that make the world better, not weapons of mass destruction.

It was so galling seeing their attitude during the Paralympics; they didn’t seem to consider that most of the athletes probably needed State help at some point to get where they are.

CR: You appeared ‘on the panel of BBC Radio 4’s The News Quiz recently. How scary was that?

FM: I wasn’t scared at all, actually. Standup is a really good training for giving anything a go, so after years of doing live comedy, anything else isn’t hard in comparison. Getting booked for The News Quiz was a great chance to show that I can be funny when talking about other stuff, not just about disability.

Everyone was really friendly - I’m good friends with Jeremy Hardy, who was on with me, anyway, and he was lovely. It’s not rocket science, having a bit of banter about the news. I found it really fun. What I do isn’t really working for a living; I always try to have that perspective, and that helps with not being nervous.

CR: Would you like to do the television panel shows? You started out as an actress on Grange Hill in the 90s, and have been on television since then in various acting roles and as a serious commentator on disability issues - but you haven’t yet made that breakthrough into TV comedy. Is this a bit of a bugbear?

FM: As the first wobbly woman in comedy, the doors to TV seem to be shut because they haven’t had to be opened before. I can get on serious shows, but producers seem to have a problem with seeing comedy and disability mixing, because they see disability as a “serious” subject. But I’ve spent my whole adult life doing comedy, and I think that the producers are really underestimating the public, who only actually care if you’re funny, and also like it if you’re a bit different.

It’s true that comedy is still very male dominated, but the live circuit is a lot more diverse than TV comedy, which has a very narrow representation of that. There’s still quite a long way to go. The Paralympics showed that people like diversity; emotions were heightened and it was more unpredictable than the mainstream Olympics. People are fascinated and curious - they want to know more. It’s human nature, and TV hasn’t grasped that quite yet, and is still wary.

CR: The theme of your current live show means that the issue of disability runs through it - do you think that you’ll ever write a show that doesn’t mention it?

FM: I always thought that I didn’t talk about disability; I talked about my life experiences and views. I’m always going to be wobbly, and I don’t want not to mention it. Disability covers a huge range of issues, but I don’t so much talk about them as just talk about myself, the same as any comic would do. I’ve never thought that I don’t want to be honest about who I am.

My last show was very political and a lot less personal; more about politics, religion and the media. I enjoyed talking about things that have nothing to do with my life, but I’ll always cherish the element of being personal because that’s where the real power of comedy lies.

In this current show, there’s a lot about me falling in love for the first time, and that’s nothing to do with me being wobbly; it’s just about me.

* Francesca Martinez brings What The **** Is Normal?! to Pegasus Theatre in Oxford on Saturday, November 17.

* First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, November 8, 2012

One Yank and they're off - interview with Doug Stanhope

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DUBBED “the Voice of America” by Charlie Brooker, Doug Stanhope is a graduate of the US stand-up comedy school of hard living- outspoken, outrageous, rarely with alcohol out of his system, and often outside, having a smoke. He’s mostly rather polite in real life though, as Catriona Reeves discovered, when she rang him on his tour bus - but don’t tell. We wouldn’t want to blow his cover.

Catriona Reeves: You're currently about half way through a 38-date UK tour - how is it going?

Doug Stanhope: I’m doing well so far - only one or two major hangovers. Stoke-on-Trent was the worst one - I had some friends come to see me and stay over at the hotel. I don’t think we’ll be allowed back in that hotel.

CR: Wow, I had no idea there was so much fun to be had in Stoke.

DS: I’ve been to 15 different countries, and they all look like the inside of a bar. As long as there’s a bar, I’m happy anywhere.

CR: So are you receiving a warm welcome from UK audiences?

DS: British audiences are scary. In America, audiences are over the top and easily amused; over here they tend to be smarter and more controlled. You have to work a lot harder over here. Luckily, the Brits tend to be cynical and cranky like me, so we get on just fine.

CR: And what exactly should your cynical and cranky audiences expect from your show?

DS: I have no idea. It usually involves whatever’s been irritating me that day. I can always find something to irritate me. I switch it around every few days, but it’s always going to be the same angry, drunken, caustic, blow-hard nonsense that it’s been for the last 21 years.

There will certainly be something about Allison Pearson and the Twitter war we’ve been having [Allison Pearson is a Daily Telegraph columnist stood on the other side of political fence to Stanhope in regards to assisted suicide]. She is fully aware that I’m not going to drop it. It keeps me fired up.

CR: You certainly don’t shy away from tackling controversial issues. Do you think that you’ve got something important to say, or are you just having fun?

DS: Sometimes I’ve got something to say, but sometimes it’s just graphic smut. There’s always plenty of smut to laugh about; I don’t have to force myself too hard to find it.

CR: So, overall, you’re enjoying the tour...?

DS: I have no idea where we’re going, but usually when I come to the UK I’m stuck in Leicester Square, losing the will to live, so it’s great to see the country. We’ve been to some beautiful places - Bournemouth is stunning - but we’ve still got some s**t holes to visit, like Leeds and Liverpool.

CR: But Liverpool is the birthplace of the Beatles!

DS: I know. Henry Phillips who’s touring with me as my support, he’s a musical comedian, so he wants to do the Magical Mystery Tour, but I couldn’t give a monkeys. I wouldn’t say hello to Sir Paul if he was stood in my way when I’m going outside for a smoke.

Not that I’ve got anything against The Beatles, but I’m more interested in having a smoke.

Doug Stanhope can be found smoking outside the stage door at The Anvil, Basingstoke on Friday, April 13, and the Concert Hall, Reading on Wednesday, April 18. Paul McCartney is unlikely to attend.

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ash Wednesday - review of Ash

Review by Bill Ainsworth


Ash at SUB 89, Reading, on Wednesday, November 30

HAVING never visited this venue before I expected, given it’s name, it to be below 89 Friar Street. Wrong! It’s above it. Oh well, no matter.

I’ve never been to an Ash gig before either, although I’ve seen them countless times over the years at this town’s rather popular music festival which you may have heard of; I also saw them when they were main support for fellow Irishmen U2 at Twickenham in 2005 (they’ve been friends for years and played some huge gigs to promote the, eventually successful, Irish peace talks in 1998).

Formed when they were in their mid-teens in 1992, for the last five years the band have been back to their original three-piece line up (since the departure of guitarist Charlotte Hatherly who was a permanent member from 1997 to 2006) of Tim Wheeler, vocals and guitar, Mark Hamilton, bass and, sporting a resplendent Movember effort, Rick McMurray, drums.

The set mainly consisted of tracks recorded without Ms H, so tracks from 1994’s debut mini album Trailer and 1996’s UK number one first album proper 1977, along with some of the 26 (yes, 26!!) singles released over the last year or so (part of their A-Z Series, released fortnightly).

Opening inevitably and pleasingly with Lose Control, track one on 1977, the band then launched into a set guaranteed to keep the near-600 capacity crowd happy. Second up was Girl From Mars so two tracks in and the place was rocking full tilt. We were then treated to a further hour-and-a-half of classics such as Trailer’s Jack Names The Planets, Oh Yeah, the manic Kung Fu, Goldfinger, Orpheus, A Life Less Ordinary (great track, poor film) and the wife’s personal favourite, Shining Light. Mixed in with newer material, of which I have to confess I am not familiar, but enjoyed nonetheless, including Arcadia, a rather (believe it or not) funky Return Of The White Rabbit and Dionysian Urge.

They returned to treat the fans with a four-track encore of last studio album title track Twilight Of The Innocents, Sometimes, another from Trailer, Uncle Pat, and finally again both predictably and correctly, the poptastic classic Burn Baby Burn.

You know a great singles band if after all of this, on the way home you have a “hang on they didn’t play......” moment-  and for me that was Angel Interceptor. 

So, now in their mid-30s, Ash have still got it and probably will never lose it. “It” being the ability to rock a crowd with the kind of cracking power pop from a catalogue, spanning over half their lifetime, that many current would-be contemporaries can only dream of.

I’ve no doubt that I’ll see you again at a festival soon, guys!

• First published in the Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, December 8, 2011

Drawing out the meaning of life - review of Little Howard and the Magic Pencil

LIttle Howard and the Magic Pencil of Life and Death, at The Hexagon, Reading, on Friday, February 5, 2010

As CBBC viewers will know, Little Howard may only be an animated six-year-old, but he’s not frightened of some pretty big questions, asking them regularly in his television series, Little Howard’s Big Question.

So, when experiencing feelings of jealousy towards his human sidekick “Big” Howard Read’s baby son Samson, Little Howard isn’t afraid of asking some of the biggest existential questions of all: Would he be more real if he wasn’t two-dimensional? Why hasn’t he got a nose or ears? Can Big Howard sell Samson?

Little Howard thinks he’s found the answer when Big Howard shows him the Magic Pencil of Life and Death which he was drawn with, but Cartoon Death wants the pencil too, and possibly utilise the eraser at the other end...

Whether entirely two-dimensional, or undertaking coloured glasses-enhanced 3D adventures, Little Howard “live” was just as a believable a character as in his television series, despite being confined by logistics to a giant screen or Big Howard’s laptop. His witty repartee with Big Howard and the audience belied his tender years, and appeared so natural that it was hard to remember it would have all been pre-prepared.

Little Howard may be a 2D character, but his audience interaction was fully-rounded, as he demonstrated his inability to catch a ball (although it could knock him over quite convincingly), and he and Big Howard conducted a game of human Guess Who?. 

George was blown away by the 3D elements of the show, and I’m sure Read and co-animator Martin White would be delighted to hear that their work stands up in the mind of a seven-year-old to that of Avatar. Meanwhile, I particularly enjoyed the songs, including the “strangely soothing” ukulele-backed Unpleasant Lullaby, designed to paralyse any child in their bed through fear for the entire night.

“Even funnier than the Chuckle Brothers” was George’s verdict, and I must admit, I’m really rather excited myself that another two series of Little Howard’s Big Question have been commissioned by the BBC. And I would like Little Howard to know that if Big Howard ever gets too distracted by Samson, he can always come live in my laptop.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on Thursday, February 11, 2010

In a room... with Dodgy - review

Dodgy at South Street Arts Centre, Reading, on Saturday, June 4

AUGUST 1996. Reading Festival. I'm working on the Saturday, but "no worries," says Bill, "come down later, we'll probably be at the main stage, somewhere on the left - don't be late for Dodgy!". Hmm. Vague. Anyway, early evening I make it onto the festival site; Dodgy are already on. I wind my way through the crowd towards the front of the main stage, keeping towards the left - and just as Dodgy start playing my favourite song, Grassman, I spot Bill's leather jacket. Sorted.

OK, so Reading Festival back then wasn't the immense crush of more recent years, and I do have a theory that we all used to have built-in satnav which was switched off when we all got mobile phones, but I like to believe that it was the magic of Dodgy that made a seemingly impossible meet-up very straightforward indeed.

June 2011. South Street Arts Centre, Reading. I'm not going to have much trouble finding Bill at this gig, as the room only holds a couple of hundred people (but there he is, down the front, on the left). Appearing as a favour for an old muso friend, the organiser of Reading's Know Your History club night (which aims to mark major musical anniversaries), Dodgy have not only agreed to play for a cut-price rate,  but are obliged to perform a track off The Smiths' album The Queen Is Dead, which was released 25 years ago. Their attempt at There Is A Light That Never Goes Out is not exactly the musical accomplishment of the night, but it would amuse all but the most hardcore Smiths fans. Luckily there don't seem to be many of those in tonight.

Dodgy have been back in the shape of their classic line-up (Nigel Clark, lead singer and bassist, Andy Miller, guitarist, and Matthew Priest, drummer) since 2007, but this was the first time that I've seen them since the 90s - when I saw them many, many times. Older they may be, wiser they may not be, but the trio's vocals still blend together together in perfection, on old hits such as Staying Out For The Summer and the epic and uplifting So Let Me Go Far (but sadly not Grassman - I've since had words with them about that), and newer tracks from more recent and forthcoming albums.

One thing I always loved about Dodgy back in the day was their sense of fun, and it's good to see that has remained intact despite the passing years, as they banter with the crowd and each other throughout their set. As a microphone slipped down its stand, Nigel bravely battles on with the song, straddling lower and lower until he is all legs akimbo, like a dubious Elvis impersonator. I doubt Morrissey would be so obliging. Hilarious.

Dodgy, I know you've never really been away, but welcome back into my life. I hope you'll stay a while.

Mr Tumble is a real Beauty - review of The Hexagon 2010 pantomime, starring Justin Fletcher

Sleeping Beauty at The Hexagon, Reading until Sunday, January 2

THE HEXAGON has landed the pick of the celeb crop for its pantomime this year in the form of TV’s Mr Tumble himself, Justin Fletcher, in only his second live panto. Even George, now aged eight and long a graduate of CBeebies, was impressed enough to earmark this panto as the one he wanted to see.

In a production created by the team behind hit CBeebies show The Tweenies (also starring Fletcher as the orange-skinned Jake), Fletcher lit up the stage whenever he appeared as ebullient joker and inventor Josh the Jester, with a great sense of slapstick and comic timing far beyond that normally demonstrated after a panto’s normal fortnight of rehearsal. 

But although clearly the real star, Fletcher (the son of Hungerford composer Guy Fletcher) was not the only strong point of this year’s Hexagon pantomime. Proudly proclaiming Reading’s long history of panto in the programme - the town’s first was Robinson Crusoe, in the Friar Street Theatre in 1789 - Sleeping Beauty featured lush sets, fabulous costumes, a lively dark light scene, and an impressively fearsome if underused dragon.

Also strong was the supporting cast, including the legendary Jane Tucker from Rainbow - my own childhood hero - timeless as Azuriel, the good fairy, and well worthy of a mention, as she said to me after the show “the fairy never gets mentioned in reviews”. Then there was Leah Bracknell (formerly Emmerdale’s Zoe Tate), unrecognisable in a purple fright wig as the evil Carabosse, and Jolyon Dixon, an excellent sidekick to Fletcher as the panto’s dame, Nanny Nora.

Imagine Theatre did away with a lot of the current chart hits (although there was a ‘70s disco scene) and reference to current television shows that often pepper modern pantomimes but may go over the heads of the younger children, concentrating on the slapstick comedy, song, dance and audience participation that appeals to all ages. That’s not to say that this is a production aimed at pre-schoolers - it was great fun for all present, secretly even a too-cool eight-year-old who refused to join in any of the clapping. 

The only pity is that as The Corn Exchange in Newbury is also presenting Sleeping Beauty, it’ll take a hardened panto fan to make it to both productions this year. But for many wanting to take their children to their first Christmas show, the popular draw of the delightful Fletcher will be hard to resist, and they have every right to be extremely satisfied with their choice.

• First published in Newbury Weekly News on December 16, 2010